This blog is going to be a bit unorthodox.  In the midst of an intense time for girls, women and all people of this land, I am going to use the words of others to share some insights because, as Neitzsche once said in The Twilight of Idols, “That for which we find words is something already dead in our hearts.”

“What a woman needs is not as a woman to act or rule, but as a nature to grow, as an intellect to discern, as a soul to live freely and unimpeded to unfold such powers as are given her.”  -Margaret Fuller

“Adolescence is when girls experience social pressure to put aside their authentic selves and to display only a small portion of their gifts.” -Mary Pipher

“Adolescent girls discover that it is impossible to be both feminine and adult. Psychologist I.K. Boverman’s now classic study documents this impossibility.  Male and female participants in the study checked off adjectives describing the characteristics of healthy men, healthy women and healthy adults.  The results showed that while people describe healthy men and healthy adults as having the same qualities, they describe healthy women as having quite different qualities than healthy adults.  For example, healthy women were described as passive, dependent and illogical, while healthy adults were active, independent and logical.  In fact, it was impossible to score as both a healthy adult and a healthy woman.”  -Mary Pipher

“The most important question for my client is ‘Who are you?’ I’m not interested in an answer as I am teaching a process that the girl can use for the rest of her life.  The process involves looking within to find a true core of self, acknowledging unique gifts, accepting all feelings, not just the socially acceptable ones, and making deep and firm decisions about values and meaning.  The process includes knowing the difference between thinking and feeling, between immediate gratification and long-term goals, and between her own voice and the voices of others.  The process includes discovering the personal impact of our cultural rules for women.  It includes discussion about breaking those rules and formulating new, healthy guidelines for the self.  The process teaches girls to chart a course based on the dictates of their true selves.  The process is nonlinear, arduous and discouraging.  It is also joyful, creative and full of surprises.”  -Mary Pipher, Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls

“At our cores, we are our tender selves peeking out at a world of shy representatives, so shame has been layered on top of our pain.  We’re suffocating underneath all the layers.” -Glennon Doyle, Love Warrior

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” –Anais Nin

“And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”  -Nelson Mandela

Working with both girls and women, to form healthy identities, and to navigate this this world healthfully, is why I am here.  Please feel free to contact me. bree@emerycounseling.com

If you’re interested in learning more or booking a session with Bree Emery, or one of our other counselors, visit our website here.