Sadly, this is a frequently used expression as we work with couples in counseling.
Married, yes, but yet experiencing a disturbing sense of “isolation”.
Isolation is the opposite of “Intimacy”, so instead of experiencing a deep connection with a spouse, too often couples have lost ground over time and end up feeling lonely, separated and solitary even while yet married.
The following is a brief informal quiz that might help point to the need for ACTION:
-A feeling that your spouse isn’t hearing or understanding you
-An attitude of “who cares” or “whatever”
-A feeling of being unable to please or meet your spouse’s expectations
-A feeling of being taken for granted
-A feeling that one of you might be going their own way
-A refusal to deal with what is perhaps the real issue
-A feeling that keeping the peace by avoidance is better than the pain of dealing with
-A feeling that as a spouse, you are not being prioritized
-A sense that meaningful touch has all but exited your marriage
-A feeling that you are spiritually traveling alone
Now don’t panic if you answered yes to more than a couple of these statements, help is available. Start by reaching out to your spouse in a loving way and communicate your concern, but avoid attacking or blaming.
The book “Staying Close” , Stopping the Natural Drift Toward Isolation in Marriage by Dennis Rainey is a really good resource for couples.
If these attempts to address what you are experiencing fail to get his/her attention, we can help and are very well equipped and experienced with dealing with this phenomenon.
Someone once said: “Getting Married is easy, staying married is much more challenging, staying HAPPILY married is considered among the “Fine Arts”
Keep pressing forward!