MARRIED, BUT FEELING ALONE??
Sadly, this is a frequently used expression as we work with couples in counseling.
Married, yes, but yet experiencing a disturbing sense of “isolation”.
Isolation is the opposite of “Intimacy”, so instead of experiencing a deep connection with a spouse, too often couples have lost ground over time and end up feeling lonely, separated and solitary even while yet married.
The following is a brief informal quiz that might help point to the need for ACTION:
-A feeling that your spouse isn’t hearing or understanding you
-An attitude of “who cares” or “whatever”
-A feeling of being unable to please or meet your spouse’s expectations
-A feeling of being taken for granted
-A feeling that one of you might be going their own way
-A refusal to deal with what is perhaps the real issue
-A feeling that keeping the peace by avoidance is better than the pain of dealing with
-A feeling that as a spouse, you are not being prioritized
-A sense that meaningful touch has all but exited your marriage
-A feeling that you are spiritually traveling alone
Now don’t panic if you answered yes to more than a couple of these statements, help is available. Start by reaching out to your spouse in a loving way and communicate your concern, but avoid attacking or blaming.
The book “Staying Close” , Stopping the Natural Drift Toward Isolation in Marriage by Dennis Rainey is a really good resource for couples. If these attempts to address what you are experiencing fail to get his/her attention, we can help and are very well equipped and experienced with dealing with this phenomenon.
Someone once said: “Getting Married is easy, staying married is much more challenging, staying HAPPILY married is considered among the “Fine Arts” Keep pressing forward!
If we can help, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Thanks, Gary emery