1. The Dance of the Family Members – Do you know the steps?

    Family culture is an interesting dance. It is one we usually do not realize we are participating in. We have learned the steps over many years and our family can usually be in sync. When additions to the family come, the routine is disrupted and can cause some friction. In Zig Ziglar’s ham story, he describes how the bride in a newly married couple cut off the end of the ham before baking it. He…Read More

  2. 3 Reasons To Turn The Other Cheek

    We’ve all heard the saying, “Pick your battles.” For some of us, there is no such thing as “picking.” We battle whenever someone crosses our line in the sand. For me, it is when I feel that my wife has treated me disrespectfully. Whether she has done it knowingly or not, I battle when I feel wronged. It has taken me a long time to learn that I do not have to battle every time my wife cro…Read More

  3. ATTENTION WIVES!!!

    It might seem a bit risky in our current culture for a male therapist to “call out” females (wives) on a particular behavior, but please give me just a few minutes to explain?  Ladies, are you finding yourself frustrated by how unresponsive your husband is in your interactions? Or are you frequently disappointed with his harsh reactions when you approach him?  Here is the latest research on …Read More

  4. Is My Teen Even Listening to Me?!

    Have you ever felt like you’re talking into a wind tunnel or as though you’re talking to yourself when, in fact, you’re trying to have a conversation with your teenager? Do you ever feel like they’d rather be anywhere else than be standing in front of you or otherwise being in the same room? If so, you are not alone. And welcome to the season of raising adolescents. According to several re…Read More

  5. MARRIED, BUT FEELING ALONE??

    Sadly, this is a frequently used expression as we work with couples in counseling. Married, yes, but yet experiencing a disturbing sense of “isolation”. Isolation is the opposite of “Intimacy”, so instead of experiencing a deep connection with a spouse, too often couples have lost ground over time and end up feeling lonely, separated and solitary even while yet married. The following is a …Read More

  6. What Is Self-Care, and Why Is It Important?

    “I feel like I’m doing everything around here.” “I feel taken advantage of.” “I don’t feel supported by you.” “All you do is nag me and tell me what I’m not doing or what I’m doing I’m doing poorly.” Can you relate to any of those sentiments? Agreeing on roles in the home is one of the most challenging things husbands and wives face, especially when they become parents. I…Read More

  7. How to use ‘I Feel’ statements to grow your marriage

    “I feel …. you’re the problem” I laugh sometimes when I hear clients try to use “I feel” statements. I’ve even heard someone say, “I feel that you’re an idiot.” This is obviously not the intended use of the phrase “I feel.” In fact, this is just another way of insulting or hurting someone. In The Marriage Program we talk about the use of I feel statements as a way to produc…Read More

  8. Fight or Flight in Communication…

    Most of us do not enjoy having our flaws or errors pointed out by others.  Yet, its amazing how poor our approach can often be to raise an issue with others that may be uncomfortable to hear.  In fact, too often we will approach a friend or a loved one to tell them something they did wrong (or did to wrong us) and effectively demand that they acknowledge their error right that second!  This may…Read More

  9. The Pain of the Holidays and the Greatest Gifts You Can Give

    I recently spoke at a local church for one of their Christmas events.  I was asked to speak about the pain of the holidays.  I was surprised and delighted at the same time. As a psychotherapist, I am entrenched in the pain of the holidays (while as a parent I still get to witness the magic!).  I have to admit, I was proud of this Ministry Director for addressing such a tough topic when it would…Read More

  10. The Lost Art of Listening

    If you’re like me, I have an uncanny ability to listen to so many things at the same time I don’t really hear any of them. Between the music, the phone, the TV, the computer and whatever voices I have in my head (the healthy kind :)), I can barely focus on another person. I notice it most when I ride my bike without my music. I hear the birds, I hear kids playing, I am much more aware of where…Read More