Each of us are running our own race. We have a path set out before us that has mountains and valleys and everything in between. We are surrounded by distractions and busyness that keeps our mind racing toward what is next. Often times, the words that appear are “supposed to”. They can be used as a way to put unrealistic expectations on ourselves or others. They can also be used to describe how we should or should not, feel or act.
- I am not “supposed to” feel this way.
- What am I “supposed to” do?
- How and I “supposed to” parent my kids?
- Am I “supposed to” date again?
- My marriage isn’t “supposed to” feel like this.
The list of statements can go on and on. When we are hurting, we have a desire to make the right choice and sometimes, we just do not know which way we should go.
Social media can often feed into the trap of “supposed to.” It is human nature for us to compare our situation to others. Many studies have shown that viewing social media actually makes us less happy. Comparison is the ultimate killer of Joy.
Perhaps you are facing life challenges right now. Are the words “supposed to” haunting your thoughts? Are they causing you to question how you should be doing things? Whether you are grieving the loss of a loved one, going through marriage challenges or a divorce, or just facing the difficulties life can often bring, society and even our own self-talk can allow “supposed to” to have a stronghold in our lives that it does not deserve. When “supposed to” creeps in, ask yourself, is this helping me grow or robbing me of my joy? The answer can help gain some perspective.
~ Dondi Gesick, LPCC