If you are in a state of considering a divorce I want you to ask yourself have you truly done everything you can to save the marriage?
Are you letting your pride and hurt feelings get in the way?
Couples are one of my specialties and I get so much joy when I work with couples. However, if there is one thing I see often it is two very prideful people coming into my office demanding that the other person change. I see two people who want to win and not hear their partners hurt or desires.
Responding to marriage in this way will not change or fix anything.
So what do you do?
First, is to let go of your pride. Pride does not help in any relationship. All pride will do is continue to make one think that they are better or the right one. Pride doesn’t allow one to hear the pain, discouragement, or hurt that the other person feels.
Secondly, HEAR! There is a difference between listening and hearing. Listening is when we have someone talking to us, but it goes in one ear and out the other. I always love to give the Charlie Brown teacher as my example. To hear someone is to be connected in the conversation. When one is hearing another person they are connected in the conversation showing this through verbal and non-verbal cues.
Finally, seek help. I realize it can be scary and intimidating, but sometimes one cannot find the solution or answer on their own, that is ok! One is not weak or less than if they need help, they are human.