Age, socioeconomic status, and ethnicity do not seem to matter when it comes to the power of forgiveness.  We all need forgiveness, but we all seem to struggle with it.  Whether it’s our inability to accept or give it, we have a hard time dealing with forgiveness.

All too often people want to “move on” from a hurtful situation without truly addressing the wound.  In fact, some people believe that their ability to “move on” is a favorable characteristic.  So much that they move on before they resolve anything.  When we move on without resolving we never really move on.   It’s only a matter of time before that unresolved issue, whether it’s a wound, a trauma, or an unmet expectation, resurfaces.  It can resurface in destructive behavior, anger, depression, or a refusal to trust.

how do I forgive someoneForgiveness is an attempt to: recognize what the original wound was, understand the emotions associated with that wound, learn whatever needs to be learned from the situation, and forgive all parties involved so that you can put it to rest and move forward.  Moving forward does not mean you forget, but the pain and resentment will be left behind in place of learning and forgiveness.  This allows us to cut the chains to the painful experiences in our past that most likely have kept us chained down.  Nothing else really allows us to be free from those past wounds like forgiveness does.   When we forgive, we are able to rebuild trust, but when we withhold forgiveness we are only holding ourselves back.

Cut the chains to your painful experiences by forgiving.  Forgiveness is not saying that what happened was okay.  It is simply saying that you don’t want to carry the pain and resentment anymore.

~ Josh Emery

Marriage Family Therapy Fort Collins Colorado