1. Successful Conversation

    The most commonly referenced goal I hear from couples in counseling is their desire to have better communication. It doesn’t take me long to see why they are failing -  they don’t follow the basic steps to a conversation. They argue about different subjects and don’t do a good job of understanding one another. Follow these six steps to have affective and successful conversations: Identify t…Read More

  2. Guidelines you can follow for a smoother holiday season

    How did your holidays go? Here are some tips on how to end the year in good spirits. Here are some key guidelines you can follow so things to go more smoothly and for you to feel more grounded during the holidays. Practice the following: 1. Choose your perspective In other words, how do you perceive your holidays going? Write it down. Now consider if this perspective frees you or if it strains you…Read More

  3. Practice Gratitude

    Gratitude is when we are able to stop looking for the things we don’t have and be grateful for the things we do have. When we express gratitude it can show so many benefits; strengthen relationship, improve health, reduce stress, and increase resiliency. A frequently used method to practice gratitude is to keep a gratitude journal. To start you can pick a time during the day to simply recognize …Read More

  4. Sometimes, along with grocery shopping and cooking comes boundary setting…gobble, gobble 🦃

    Although we may have made it through Thanksgiving with our loved ones (and maybe even loved it!), there is still time to consider one’s needs in navigating the holiday season with extended family. Here are 5 things to consider to help navigate time with extended family at the holidays: 1 Start with some value clarification: this means suspending the “shoulds” of how you spend time with famil…Read More

  5. MARRIED, BUT FEELING ALONE??

    MARRIED, BUT FEELING ALONE?? Sadly, this is a frequently used expression as we work with couples in counseling. Married, yes, but yet experiencing a disturbing sense of “isolation”. Isolation is the opposite of “Intimacy”, so instead of experiencing a deep connection with a spouse, too often couples have lost ground over time and end up feeling lonely, separated and solitary even while yet…Read More

  6. We Have Three Brains, Not One!

    We Have Three Brains, Not One! That's right, we actually have three brains! The Primal, Limbic and Neocortex: these three brains work together, as one, to keep us alive. Each has a very distinct role and function, working interdependently to help us survive. I first learned of the Triune Brian when I was working for a non-profit, which specialized in helping at risk youth. I was a young counselor …Read More

  7. Blended Families during the Holidays

    It is the beginning of November and holiday season is right around the corner. For the blended family, we take a deep breath and get ready for the whirlwind of events and transfers of children. Like many families, ours is more of a family bush than a tree! We have divorces and remarriages on both sides of our family which makes the holidays for our blended family even more adventurous. There are t…Read More

  8. What Is Self-Care, and Why Is It Important?

    “I feel like I’m doing everything around here.” “I feel taken advantage of.” “I don’t feel supported by you.” “All you do is nag me and tell me what I’m not doing or what I’m doing I’m doing poorly.” Can you relate to any of those sentiments? Agreeing on roles in the home is one of the most challenging things husbands and wives face, especially when they become parents. I…Read More

  9. Fighting for Authentic Friendship

    From birth through death, what humans most need is connection with other humans. Among all lifeforms, we are the most dependent upon others, not only for survival, but also for acceptance, affirmation, companionship, and love. Others’ generational habits, weaknesses, mistakes, and sins can leave bruises on our souls. These bruises complicate our perception of reality by diminishing our self-wort…Read More

  10. How to use ‘I Feel’ statements to grow your marriage

    “I feel …. you’re the problem” I laugh sometimes when I hear clients try to use “I feel” statements. I’ve even heard someone say, “I feel that you’re an idiot.” This is obviously not the intended use of the phrase “I feel.” In fact, this is just another way of insulting or hurting someone. In The Marriage Program we talk about the use of I feel statements as a way to produc…Read More