1. Reacting to the “Button Pusher”

    Back in the day, people used to write letters to each other. It would take 2-3 days or even a week before the message arrived. Knowing the time lapse that took place, I would imagine people might have taken a few moments to pen their thoughts. This would be especially true if they were angry about something. The point is, I'm thinking there was probably more thought into the letters. In the age of…Read More

  2. ‘Tis The Season For Taking A Deep Breath

    “You have listened to fears, child,” said Aslan. “Come, let me breathe on you. Forget them. Are you brave again?” C.S. Lewis, Prince Caspian I recently came across this quote and I lost my breath a little. I was startled by the truth that fear doesn’t stand a chance against Alsan. At the same time I realized how fear plays a significant role in ours lives. It can especially get…Read More

  3. The Lost Art of Listening

    If you’re like me, I have an uncanny ability to listen to so many things at the same time I don’t really hear any of them. Between the music, the phone, the TV, the computer and whatever voices I have in my head (the healthy kind, I can barely focus on another person. I notice it most when I ride my bike without my music. I hear the birds, I hear kids playing, I am much more aware of where the…Read More

  4. Mind Hack : The Pink Elephant

    What happens when I tell you, “Don’t think about a pink elephant.”? You probably just thought of a pink elephant. If I instead explained to you that there were two elephants in the room, one pink and one blue, and I wanted you to do your best to keep your focus on the blue, you will most likely do better. Our minds want and need something to focus on so it’s counterproductive to tell ourse…Read More

  5. ATTENTION WIVES!!!

    It might seem a bit risky in our current culture for a male therapist to “call out” females (wives) on a particular behavior, but please give me just a few minutes to explain?  Ladies, are you finding yourself frustrated by how unresponsive your husband is in your interactions? Or are you frequently disappointed with his harsh reactions when you approach him?  Here is the latest research on …Read More

  6. 8 Things To Consider When A Teen Has Two Homes

    Perhaps your family faces a situation where the child or children of the family have two homes. The transition of moving from one home to the other can be difficult on the child and as they grow into their teen years, it can be both difficult and negatively advantageous at the same time. The best circumstance for all parties involved is to try to co-parent. As some of you read this, you may be fee…Read More

  7. Secure your Oxygen Mask First

    For those that have traveled via air, you have experienced the instructions at the beginning of the flight. Make sure your seat belt is tightly fastened, and if in the event of loss of pressure in the cabin, make sure you put on your oxygen mask before helping others. In that split second, I wonder how many women might give in to the temptation to put on the mask of all her family members prior to…Read More

  8. MARRIED, BUT FEELING ALONE??

    Sadly, this is a frequently used expression as we work with couples in counseling. Married, yes, but yet experiencing a disturbing sense of “isolation”. Isolation is the opposite of “Intimacy”, so instead of experiencing a deep connection with a spouse, too often couples have lost ground over time and end up feeling lonely, separated and solitary even while yet married. The following is a …Read More

  9. Blended Families during the Holidays

    It is the beginning of November and holiday season is right around the corner. For the blended family, we take a deep breath and get ready for the whirlwind of events and transfers of children. Like many families, ours is more of a family bush than a tree! We have divorces and remarriages on both sides of our family which makes the holidays for our blended family even more adventurous. There are t…Read More

  10. How to use ‘I Feel’ statements to grow your marriage

    “I feel …. you’re the problem” I laugh sometimes when I hear clients try to use “I feel” statements. I’ve even heard someone say, “I feel that you’re an idiot.” This is obviously not the intended use of the phrase “I feel.” In fact, this is just another way of insulting or hurting someone. In The Marriage Program we talk about the use of I feel statements as a way to produc…Read More